no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
