how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
