Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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