Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so let's talk penis.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize