Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
