i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
