YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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