dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
