Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
