Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
They are going to name an STD after you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
