Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
