I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I would fuck him just for his dog
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