I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
