The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
