Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
