Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize