Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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