Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
