Duck Duck Cougar?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
