What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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