How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
