Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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