i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
