She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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