If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
