god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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