Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This baby is an asshole
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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