I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
