I should be sponsored by Trojan
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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