just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize