I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
