I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
