woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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