like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
