I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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