Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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