With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
