Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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