just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
