ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
