The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
