alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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