I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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