dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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