forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize