i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
