try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
