I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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