butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
