im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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