I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
