I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
