so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
