she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
