worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
