we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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