did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
