Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
