my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
