He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
