You're a womanizer and a bitch.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
