Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
