I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
