she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
