I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
