That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize