Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
