Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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