god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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