He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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