you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
