You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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