I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
