Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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