I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize