dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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