I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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